We have a lot of arbitrary rules in the United States. It’s bound to happen when you’ve been a country for 200-some years, but there are some rules and bans I think we can do without. Here are four such things.
Marijuana
I tried it one time and probably wouldn't be a user, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think other people should be able to. The United States is already legally doped up on TV, caffeine, sugar, nicotine, fast food, and alcohol. Marijuana would not be the worst drug in that list by far.
Some people who go on and on about the pitfalls of marijuana probably don’t tell you about their 5-soda-a-day (diet) Coke habit, or the fact that smoking a carton of cigarettes a week is about one of the worst habits you can have.
A drug as common as caffeine would be considered just as controversial as marijuana if we weren’t socially conditioned to think otherwise. Caffeine has health benefits and pitfalls, just like marijuana - and none of the benefits or pitfalls are overwhelmingly dangerous. Definitely not as dangerous as nicotine.
Another argument is that smoking marijuana can lead to harder drug use. That’s a constructed argument. You don’t think alcohol or nicotine leads to those same places?
But that’s fine. In America, Diet Coke, Cigarettes, McDonald’s, Ho-Ho’s, and Starbucks are all legal. As they should be. Why draw an arbitrary line before marijuana? There are more worthwhile people to arrest than potheads.
Upsides: Legalizing marijuana would theoretically give our law enforcement the resources to better spend their time elsewhere. Another relatively undangerous opiate would be supplied to the masses. Some college students will start becoming less motivated to do something with their lives, leaving less competition for the rest of us.
Downsides: Marijuana’s downsides would be the same as any of the legal drugs. Marijuana can lead to bad behavior that people otherwise wouldn’t do (again, so would alcohol). Mostly I think it’s harmless on the rest of us.
Gambling and Online Poker
This might be the most enraging ban of them all, and even if I was old enough to I probably wouldn't. But what kind of “greatest nation of all time” doesn’t let citizens spend their own earned money the way they please? If I want to waste it, I’ll waste it. It’s my responsibility, not yours, Uncle Sam.
Las Vegas is a hub of culture, entertainment, and tourism mainly because of gambling. Have you seen the place lately? It’s becoming more than a tourist attraction - people are actually moving there to live there.
Gambling might be worse than the ‘legal drugs’ I wrote about above, however. Go to any relatively large casino and you’ll see approximately eleven billion old, unhealthy smokers playing bingo or tugging at the slot machines like a zombie. It can be a brutal habit.
Do I have a problem with people making money from gambling? Of course not. Despite the zombie-ness of their behavior, any person is perfectly able to ride their wheelchair home and never gamble again, even if it’s a tough habit to kick.
Online, poker can be a fun way to win a little cash, and for some, maybe even earn an income. The fact that the government says you can’t do this should enrage you. What’s the point of earning money if you can’t blow it on trivial games? Even just having the OPTION to do it makes having money that much cooler.
Upsides: Gambling would become an insane industry, and, properly handled, could pump lots of money into the economy.
Downsides: Its legalization will cause a 5000% increase in bums. Las Vegas will lose its edge, and the World Series of Poker might last year-round on ESPN.
Cuban Products
I’m getting more enraged as I write this, even though I knew what I’d write about ahead of time. Cuban products? Are you kidding me? Fidel Castro has been around since ancient Rome, and it’s clear our Cold War-relic embargo against Cuba isn’t helping anyone anymore. Let’s get out of the 20th Century.
If anything, lifting the embargo might encourage democracy there. A nice influx of American money for Cuban goods could help them see what they’ve been missing out on.
You’ll also drive down prices for their goods once they're available. Cuban cigars won’t cost you $300 for a box anymore (or whatever they cost - I’ve never bought them. In fact, I don’t do a lot of what I’ve written about in this article). Instead you can get them at a convenience store in a little bag that says “Smokin’ Stogeys Cuban Cigars” for $8.99.
Upsides: Decrease in what you have to pay for Cuban products. Money will help Cubans see the light of Democracy.
Downsides: Cuban cigars won’t be nearly as cool.
Speed Limits
Okay, this one I’ve actually done (40 in a 30, thank you very much!). I’m not really for the abolishment of all speed limit laws, except the arbitrary “65″ limit on highways.
We need to establish the American Autobahn, an artery going across the country where you can show off your coolest car’s abilities as you zoom toward Spring Break at 110 miles an hour. Every lane will be the fast lane. The only dangerous drivers will be the slow ones.
When I got my speeding ticket, I had lost all sense of speed because the road was empty and I was listening to music in my car. Was I a danger to others? Maybe, if you count the people who weren’t anywhere near me. Did I really need to pay as much as I did? Probably not.
Traffic laws are difficult to enforce because about 99% of people are bad drivers. I know because they piss me off every day, and I feel like I know the laws better than most.
Keep speed limits and most of your traffic laws - they can protect us. But let us stretch our legs on the Ameribahn.
Upsides: If you own a fast car, you can show it off. You’ll get places faster, and we’ll burn away our fossil fuels faster. That’s an upside because we’ll burn them away anyway, so we’d better get started on the future.
Downsides: There are no downsides. This one is ironclad.
1 comment:
Interesting to know.
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