Self-Improvement

"I think, therefore I am," Descartes claimed, summarizing in one simple, five-word sentence the very essence of Rationalism. But Descartes didn't realize how close he was to penning an equally insightful quip, one that is the beginning point of all self-improvement programs: "I am, therefore I stink." The wise Proverbs claim that fear is the beginning of wisdom, but I say that it is rather a well-working nose that is not afraid to report the truth that its owner is foul.

It isn't as if I am on to something new. Indeed, Freud likened psychoanalysis to catharsis. Have you ever looked up the word catharsis? It means to have a bowel movement. In that case, we might modify our self-improvement quip to be "I am in therapy; therefore I stink," in which case "stink" changes from being an adjective (a quality that is descriptive of our being) to a verb (an action that we impel upon others). To clarify this ambiguity, I propose adding "up," so that our proverb reads "I am; therefore I stink up."

So, we agree then that the process of self-improvement not only begins with our stinking, but in our producing stench. This is a good starting point because a person who believes him or herself to be of good essence must also believe he or she has a good essence, when in reality any "good" essence is only a veneer, a bait and switch as it were. And there is nothing worse than being one of those people who stinks though everyone around that person is afraid to say something because, as if the person is freely whiffing the "essence" of self, he or she has the nose stuck straight up in the air. I believe this is why the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous came up with the Twelve Steps and agreed to get together in meetings where members state, "I am Frank and I'm an Alcoholic." When we begin the process of admitting our lack of control over our addiction, affliction, or stench, it isn't far down the road that we recognize our need for a higher power. Indeed, "I am Frank, and I stink. God help me."

When the ancients equated the soul of man to his breath, they were close to finding the truths we are discovering ourselves. A woman who has eaten garlic takes aims to cover her sin with a mint before talking with others, because one's breath is in one's soul, and if your breath stinks, you stink. It is curious to me that the ancients dismissed the relevance of flatulence, another wind (pneuma) that proceeds from within. But flatulence always stinks and there is nothing you can do to cover it. Unlike breath, which can be freshened, flatulence is suppressed until you are in private, thus continuing the facade that you do not stink, when in fact you do - profusely. In that sense, we ought to equate the soul with flatulence because, like flatulence, everybody has a soul that stinks and we try to hide its reality from others. I am, I have a soul, and therefore I stink. "Can you smell that?" A certain infamous family member from my childhood would ask after emitting flatulance. He, I declare, was an honest man. He was not afraid to bear his soul, and he lived a long and happy life, never married, knew his limitations, and left a legacy of health and joy.

I am, therefore I stink. Stench is the beginning of wisdom. Remember this acumen and you are on the path to health, of knowing that it all begins with an honest appraisal and a bold step forward to confidently go where most humans will not admit they have been.