The Gap

I've wanted to bitch about the Gap for a long time now. I just never thought that this company would get to me so much.

See, this whole 21st century thing - it’s about identity and individuality, right? Or at least on the surface. At first glance, we all try to be different by identifying ourselves with certain groups, music, and, yes, brands - not blend in. And companies try to stand out too, spending millions of dollars to craft unique images through their branding ad agencies. What the hell is Gap though? I have never seen a company without any definite identity, and sort of “me” in it. One month I can walk into the Gap and think that I’m at an Urban Outfitters store. The next month, I feel like I’m at H&M, yet the next time I pop into that store, I feel like Abercrombie & Fitch just moved in and the sign was not yet replaced.

Last time I visited the place I walked in and honestly, I thought I was at an Old Navy liquidation sale. Bland clothing lying all over the floor, with customers not giving two shits that they were standing on clothes that they had the intention of buying. It was the epitome of what Gap is all about (if that can be said about a company that lacks definition). I'm getting the feeling they just don’t seem to care about themselves. It’s not even really about customer care; they're pretty much on par with other stores. What it's about is caring for who they are, for their brand, for their employees. Why can’t they take a cue from their other sister companies Banana Republic and Old Navy? Those stores seem to know how things should be run. But Gap is like a boring mixture of Eddie Bauer, grits, and an empty canvas.

Why is it that when I buy something at the Gap and I like it, I can never know for sure that I can come back there in a few months and find that item again? It seems like the company’s management is on an acid-induced menopause and every time they get an uncontrollable hot flash, they change their stores. No wonder their CEO got canned. No wonder their profits are tanking. No wonder that budget designers don’t want to offer their stuff at the Gap and instead go to Target and H&M.

Hell, even their much touted Product (Red) line sucks. If you are going to overcharge for a t-shirt made in Lesotho, at least make sure that it’s stitched together by something more than a piece of pubic hair and gum. Make it look like something I would actually want to wear. The message is good, the idea is great (though it can’t be credited to the Gap - thanks Bono!), but the implementation is horrible. Or what about the Product (Red) bracelets? They cost $10. TEN DOLLARS. That would be called highway robbery, ladies and gentleman. Speaking of which, why is it that the Gap is charging $50 for a shirt that has been pre-worn, pre-crumbled and pre-destroyed for me when I can just go to Brooks Brothers or even an Armani outlet and get a better shirt for the same price?

Case in point: I wanted jeans, and was hoping that Gap miraculously got with the program and cared enough to finally make their store “shoppable.” Oh, how wrong I was. They had this jeans sale going on, where for $60 I could pick up a pair and then save something like 50% off of a shirt. I found some jeans that I liked and decided to look for a shirt, but after spending close to 30 minutes, I gave up, returned the jeans and left. Their designs were boring, their pricing model outrageous, and the cluttered shelves unpleasant to look at while struggling with the tremendous difficulty of trying to find something that I liked.

I am not a person who cares deeply about shopping. I usually just want to get in, find what I like, pay a fair price (or score a deal) and leave. I don’t take joy in window shopping. Gap, seemingly, could easily fit the bill but they don’t because they try to be something that they aren't and it just doesn't work. From Madonna to Audrey Hepburn to Common, I don’t even know who to identify the brand with and it just gets old and annoying. And I'm annoyed.