Dear period,
Thanks a whole lot for coming to visit me today. No, I really mean that. I'm not being sarcastic at all. (Snort) My family just adores walking on eggshells and having to duck flying objects at a moment's notice when something is not particularly to my liking. I am all too happy to lay on my bed and wiggle into my jeans, sputtering a string of colorful expletives while trying to fasten the button over the bloat that wasn't there yesterday. And what woman doesn't love desperately hunting through drawers at 3 in the morning for a box of Midol while you wring out her uterus like a Brawny paper towel? Cramps are where happy goes to die. And the mood swings... are to die for. I mean that literally. Nothing brings out the homicidal maniac in me quite the way you do. Let me put it this way... you know something is amiss when someone asks you how your day was and you turn around and singe the hairs on their face with what comes out of your mouth. If you really must come around, I would appreciate it if you would do so without hijacking my hormones, depositing three gallons of water in my midriff, and twisting my girly bits until they cry uncle. That's all.
My period was so incensed by this letter that it decided to write me back. It said...
Dear Bridget,
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I have no control over what I do when I show up for my visit. It's actually your own damn uterus you should be mad at - it's as slow as molasses in November and seems to have a hard time getting a jump on the task at hand. Kind of like you. And it's not like I ever show up unannounced... you always know when I'm coming, and it's not my fault you are so scatterbrained that you forgot to go to the store and stock up on tampons and Midol. As for your moods, puhhhleeez... you are incorrigible the other 27 days out of the month that I'm not visiting you. Perhaps you wouldn't sear the eyeballs of your loved ones if you'd lay off the fatty foods that make your uterus so sluggish... which is why you wake up at 3 a.m. with cramps that rival labor pains. And lay off the soda pop... or those jeans are never gonna fit anyway. Face it... you are female and because of this, you must roll with the punches. I don't like visiting you anymore than you like seeing me, but it's time you make peace with the fact that we are stuck together for another 30 years, until it's hot flashes' turn to take my place. If you thought I was bad, just wait. Now stop being a whiny bitch and go eat some chocolate. See ya' next month.
Well then. That didn't work out quite the way I'd planned....
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Eve of the 2008 Presidential Election
"The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."
- Edwin Edwards, Democratic gubernatorial candidate in Louisiana, 1983 (he won).
Despite their shortcomings at certain points in the primaries, with less than 24 hours to go all national polls indicate that Barack Obama is enjoying a 5-week lead over John McCain. Not only that, but the democrat is leading in all of the battlegrounds and turning red states blue as Mr. Maverick is struggling to hold onto what Dubya easily won in 2000 and 2004. The idea that McCain can somehow overcome this with what time is left is, to be brutally frank, hopelessly naive. While Obama has pressed his message of change for nearly 2 years since announcing his presidential bid, the McCain campaign has obviously lacked anything consistent, clinging to insignificance of Bill Ayers, Reverend Wright, the grossly misleading suggestions made about his opponent on sex education... Barack Obama has been whacked by the kitchen sink and nothing has stuck.
The Republican Party does not enjoy an advantage in a single pressing issue of this election season. Most Americans wish to end the war in Iraq, but do so responsibly; the Obama/Biden ticket has plans for slow withdrawals, while McCain would see troops continue fighting in Iraq until some amorphous victory is reached, and the barometer for such a victory is ever-changing. When times are bad in Iraq, the Republicans argue that we cannot "cut and run" in the face of challenging times. When times are good in Iraq, it is taken by Republicans as a sign that our efforts are working, and so, once again, we cannot leave. Victory, then, appears to be an interminable maintaining of the status quo, something that is anathema to a solid majority of the American public.
On the economy, McCain's recent speeches have been dismally received, and amounted to simply stating "suck it up"...when McCain has tried to offer solutions to the economic crisis they are rash, political, and just don't make sense. Meanwhile, both Democratic candidates offer real alternatives to the growing crisis in the credit markets, the shipping of jobs overseas, and the utter corruption of a largely unregulated corporate world for which previous Republican administrations are almost wholly to blame.
There has been much debate that the hurt feelings left over from the primaries will cause a backlash among Hillary supporters, meaning lower turnout in November. But after a months-long contest between the Republican and the Democrat, such hard feelings will be ameliorated by the understanding that a Republican president means more wars, more lifelong appointments of conservative judges to the Supreme Court (and, given the court's already-conservative makeup, an end to privacy and reproductive rights), and a do-nothing attitude in regard to healthcare and the ongoing destruction of the middle class. Democrats will vote accordingly.
Indeed, the only way in which the Republican presidential candidate will be able to win is to hark back to the two themes that have proven to be winners for the GOP in previous races - terror and taxes, which could be seen in the recent exploitation of Joe the Plumber. But after more than seven years of the Bush administration, we have seen what happens when we vote based on fear and greed. When we vote in fear, more than 4,000 American soldiers die in a war that should never have happened. When we vote in greed, the economy collapses.
Having learned these hard lessons over the years of the previous administration, and given McCain's support for the continuation of Bush's foreign and economic policies, voters in November will no longer be as susceptible to the tactics that have proven successful for the GOP in the past. Awash in blood and broken dreams, voters this November will see these tactics for what they are and, in the words of the Democratic presidential candidate, will say, "Not this time."
And of course I have failed to mention my distaste for Sarah Palin, which was a tremendous exercise in self-restraint for me... I think the thought of Caribou Barbie being one melinoma or 72 year-old heartbeat from the presidency is scary enough. So, with that said I think I'll go prank call ol' Sarah Barricuda... who knows, maybe I could convince her she's speaking with another European president.
- Edwin Edwards, Democratic gubernatorial candidate in Louisiana, 1983 (he won).
Despite their shortcomings at certain points in the primaries, with less than 24 hours to go all national polls indicate that Barack Obama is enjoying a 5-week lead over John McCain. Not only that, but the democrat is leading in all of the battlegrounds and turning red states blue as Mr. Maverick is struggling to hold onto what Dubya easily won in 2000 and 2004. The idea that McCain can somehow overcome this with what time is left is, to be brutally frank, hopelessly naive. While Obama has pressed his message of change for nearly 2 years since announcing his presidential bid, the McCain campaign has obviously lacked anything consistent, clinging to insignificance of Bill Ayers, Reverend Wright, the grossly misleading suggestions made about his opponent on sex education... Barack Obama has been whacked by the kitchen sink and nothing has stuck.
The Republican Party does not enjoy an advantage in a single pressing issue of this election season. Most Americans wish to end the war in Iraq, but do so responsibly; the Obama/Biden ticket has plans for slow withdrawals, while McCain would see troops continue fighting in Iraq until some amorphous victory is reached, and the barometer for such a victory is ever-changing. When times are bad in Iraq, the Republicans argue that we cannot "cut and run" in the face of challenging times. When times are good in Iraq, it is taken by Republicans as a sign that our efforts are working, and so, once again, we cannot leave. Victory, then, appears to be an interminable maintaining of the status quo, something that is anathema to a solid majority of the American public.
On the economy, McCain's recent speeches have been dismally received, and amounted to simply stating "suck it up"...when McCain has tried to offer solutions to the economic crisis they are rash, political, and just don't make sense. Meanwhile, both Democratic candidates offer real alternatives to the growing crisis in the credit markets, the shipping of jobs overseas, and the utter corruption of a largely unregulated corporate world for which previous Republican administrations are almost wholly to blame.
There has been much debate that the hurt feelings left over from the primaries will cause a backlash among Hillary supporters, meaning lower turnout in November. But after a months-long contest between the Republican and the Democrat, such hard feelings will be ameliorated by the understanding that a Republican president means more wars, more lifelong appointments of conservative judges to the Supreme Court (and, given the court's already-conservative makeup, an end to privacy and reproductive rights), and a do-nothing attitude in regard to healthcare and the ongoing destruction of the middle class. Democrats will vote accordingly.
Indeed, the only way in which the Republican presidential candidate will be able to win is to hark back to the two themes that have proven to be winners for the GOP in previous races - terror and taxes, which could be seen in the recent exploitation of Joe the Plumber. But after more than seven years of the Bush administration, we have seen what happens when we vote based on fear and greed. When we vote in fear, more than 4,000 American soldiers die in a war that should never have happened. When we vote in greed, the economy collapses.
Having learned these hard lessons over the years of the previous administration, and given McCain's support for the continuation of Bush's foreign and economic policies, voters in November will no longer be as susceptible to the tactics that have proven successful for the GOP in the past. Awash in blood and broken dreams, voters this November will see these tactics for what they are and, in the words of the Democratic presidential candidate, will say, "Not this time."
And of course I have failed to mention my distaste for Sarah Palin, which was a tremendous exercise in self-restraint for me... I think the thought of Caribou Barbie being one melinoma or 72 year-old heartbeat from the presidency is scary enough. So, with that said I think I'll go prank call ol' Sarah Barricuda... who knows, maybe I could convince her she's speaking with another European president.
Monday, September 29, 2008
A Sickness Called Stupidity
Alright guys, I first have to address that I recognize how long it has been since I have paid any attention at all to this little blog of mine - yes, Father, it has been approximately 120 days since my last post, forgive me of my sin. What can I say, call me crazy but I have something called a life and it got a wee bit busy. Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.
So anyway, here's a topic of discussion that's not at all gender specific (meaning that I'm not going to go off on a rant about feminism or gay rights haha.) Nope, this one seems to plague us all... that is if you're both human and alive. It's a simple sickness known to us as temporary stupidity. You can thank my mildly hickish family's comedic taste for this next one as I quote Bill Engvall: "I was drivin' down the road the other day and had a blowout. So I pulled over into a parking lot, and while I was there a man walked by and said, 'Didja' get a flat?' I looked over at the man and said, 'Nope, I was just drivin' down the road and the other three swelled up on me.' Without missing a beat the man said, 'Well, the heat'll do that to 'em.' " This is a classic example of Tempus Ignoramus.
Like I said, humans suffer from a sickness called temporary stupidity, or in more technical terms what I have deemed to be Tempus Ignoramus. No one really knows what triggers such episodes and there is no sure way of knowing how long-lasting the effects can be. However, one thing is for certain - it's sure to affect an idiot near you. This is not an issue that can be blamed on MTV, video games, or even weird cartoon characters, and it is not age specific either (the one possible exception being John McCain). Here are a few examples of questions asked during temporary stupidity episodes:
- "Do you want to be grounded?" (To my recollection there has never been a recorded response of any child answering to the affirmative in this question.)
- "Are you okay?" (Often asked when someone is coughing; often because they are CHOKING on something. Imagine that!)
- "So you're having a baby?" (This question has often followed the announcement of one being pregnant. To my recollection, no one has ever responded with anything other than a yes to having a baby, as opposed to giving birth to anything else. Yep, that's right folks I'm gonna get Orangutan in vitro.)
There are so many more than the above examples, but these are the ones I have heard on more than one occasion. And yet the question still remains, that question being why. Why does this happen? As best we can tell, this has been a phenomena that has occurred throughout history spanning throughout the ages. Even the great Julius Caesar is known to have asked when stabbed by Brutus, "Et tu Brute?" Now come on it couldn't be more obvious who stabbed the man, but even in his last few moments of life he suffered from a tragic onset of temporary stupidity. Did he not know that Brutus stabbed him? Of course he did. Yet again, the mystery of this sickness eludes us.
While the underlying causes for the onsets of this sickness are unknown, there are ways of managing its symptoms. I'll offer a few here and you can try them out to see which works best for you. As a disclaimer remember that though these suggestions may help slow the progression of Tempus Ignoramus, they in no way are a cure. So, with that being said, here are a few suggestions:
1) The Shaming Method - though more of a negative reinforcer, this method has been known to help curb the amount of incidents in the afflicted. In this method, you are simply to make this person feel demeaned for asking such a question. It must be said that this is not the recommended method, but has nevertheless worked wonders for some.
2) The Pavlov Method - In this method you basically employ the psychological strategy that Pavlov used in training a dog to respond in a certain way to a certain stimulus. In this case, you are going to need to find something that the afflicted likes whether it is food, beer, or whatever effective incentive at your disposal. This is how it works: you give the afflicted the stimulus and allow them to develop a liking for it, and when there is an onset of temporary stupidity, you immediately take the stimulus away. This process must be repeated several times for it to have a lasting effect, therefore this method is not recommended to those who do not have the time to invest in such a thing.
3) The "Deaf Ear" Method - though this is a rather experimental method which has not produced reproducible results in lab testings thus far, it is one worth making note of. In this method, what you are to do is simply to ignore the afflicted's questions that are asked while in an onset of Tempus Ignoramus. In other words: act as if you have a deaf ear and cannot hear them to begin with. This can be extremely effective if employed properly, but be warned, for in some cases this has caused increased frustration and even episodes of anger in the afflicted. Furthermore, this requires one to be resolute and persistent it to produce any positive results.
4) The Nurture Method - This is by far the most widely used and popular, and yet has been found to have the least effect when dealing with Tempus Ignoramus. The scientific community, as a whole, is still confounded as to why this method is still employed by so many. Perhaps it is because the masses are generally non-confrontational, and even passive-aggressive in their dealings with one another. In any case, in this particular method what you are to do is simply to coddle the person and have pity for them because they are suffering from such a tragic sickness. (It is worth noting that although this often reinforces the onsets, there have been some occurrences where this has perhaps caused a remission of the onsets.)
So, as you can see, my friends (another John McCain reference?!) though this sickness is known to be a plague to all of mankind, it is not without a remedy or two. Or four. But always remember that Tempus Ignoramus, though without any known cures, is manageable with the proper treatment. You should consult your priest, psychologist, doctor, and telephone operator before determining which treatment is right for you. Also, remember to use only as directed.
We are always working on developing more effective ways of dealing with Tempus Ignoramus, and though we have not found a cure yet, we are confident that we won't sometime in the next few millenia.
So anyway, here's a topic of discussion that's not at all gender specific (meaning that I'm not going to go off on a rant about feminism or gay rights haha.) Nope, this one seems to plague us all... that is if you're both human and alive. It's a simple sickness known to us as temporary stupidity. You can thank my mildly hickish family's comedic taste for this next one as I quote Bill Engvall: "I was drivin' down the road the other day and had a blowout. So I pulled over into a parking lot, and while I was there a man walked by and said, 'Didja' get a flat?' I looked over at the man and said, 'Nope, I was just drivin' down the road and the other three swelled up on me.' Without missing a beat the man said, 'Well, the heat'll do that to 'em.' " This is a classic example of Tempus Ignoramus.
Like I said, humans suffer from a sickness called temporary stupidity, or in more technical terms what I have deemed to be Tempus Ignoramus. No one really knows what triggers such episodes and there is no sure way of knowing how long-lasting the effects can be. However, one thing is for certain - it's sure to affect an idiot near you. This is not an issue that can be blamed on MTV, video games, or even weird cartoon characters, and it is not age specific either (the one possible exception being John McCain). Here are a few examples of questions asked during temporary stupidity episodes:
- "Do you want to be grounded?" (To my recollection there has never been a recorded response of any child answering to the affirmative in this question.)
- "Are you okay?" (Often asked when someone is coughing; often because they are CHOKING on something. Imagine that!)
- "So you're having a baby?" (This question has often followed the announcement of one being pregnant. To my recollection, no one has ever responded with anything other than a yes to having a baby, as opposed to giving birth to anything else. Yep, that's right folks I'm gonna get Orangutan in vitro.)
There are so many more than the above examples, but these are the ones I have heard on more than one occasion. And yet the question still remains, that question being why. Why does this happen? As best we can tell, this has been a phenomena that has occurred throughout history spanning throughout the ages. Even the great Julius Caesar is known to have asked when stabbed by Brutus, "Et tu Brute?" Now come on it couldn't be more obvious who stabbed the man, but even in his last few moments of life he suffered from a tragic onset of temporary stupidity. Did he not know that Brutus stabbed him? Of course he did. Yet again, the mystery of this sickness eludes us.
While the underlying causes for the onsets of this sickness are unknown, there are ways of managing its symptoms. I'll offer a few here and you can try them out to see which works best for you. As a disclaimer remember that though these suggestions may help slow the progression of Tempus Ignoramus, they in no way are a cure. So, with that being said, here are a few suggestions:
1) The Shaming Method - though more of a negative reinforcer, this method has been known to help curb the amount of incidents in the afflicted. In this method, you are simply to make this person feel demeaned for asking such a question. It must be said that this is not the recommended method, but has nevertheless worked wonders for some.
2) The Pavlov Method - In this method you basically employ the psychological strategy that Pavlov used in training a dog to respond in a certain way to a certain stimulus. In this case, you are going to need to find something that the afflicted likes whether it is food, beer, or whatever effective incentive at your disposal. This is how it works: you give the afflicted the stimulus and allow them to develop a liking for it, and when there is an onset of temporary stupidity, you immediately take the stimulus away. This process must be repeated several times for it to have a lasting effect, therefore this method is not recommended to those who do not have the time to invest in such a thing.
3) The "Deaf Ear" Method - though this is a rather experimental method which has not produced reproducible results in lab testings thus far, it is one worth making note of. In this method, what you are to do is simply to ignore the afflicted's questions that are asked while in an onset of Tempus Ignoramus. In other words: act as if you have a deaf ear and cannot hear them to begin with. This can be extremely effective if employed properly, but be warned, for in some cases this has caused increased frustration and even episodes of anger in the afflicted. Furthermore, this requires one to be resolute and persistent it to produce any positive results.
4) The Nurture Method - This is by far the most widely used and popular, and yet has been found to have the least effect when dealing with Tempus Ignoramus. The scientific community, as a whole, is still confounded as to why this method is still employed by so many. Perhaps it is because the masses are generally non-confrontational, and even passive-aggressive in their dealings with one another. In any case, in this particular method what you are to do is simply to coddle the person and have pity for them because they are suffering from such a tragic sickness. (It is worth noting that although this often reinforces the onsets, there have been some occurrences where this has perhaps caused a remission of the onsets.)
So, as you can see, my friends (another John McCain reference?!) though this sickness is known to be a plague to all of mankind, it is not without a remedy or two. Or four. But always remember that Tempus Ignoramus, though without any known cures, is manageable with the proper treatment. You should consult your priest, psychologist, doctor, and telephone operator before determining which treatment is right for you. Also, remember to use only as directed.
We are always working on developing more effective ways of dealing with Tempus Ignoramus, and though we have not found a cure yet, we are confident that we won't sometime in the next few millenia.
Monday, June 2, 2008
The Anti-Discrimination Bill
Fight for equal rights for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders (LGBTs) by pushing for the passage of the Anti-Discrimination Bill (HB 956) authored by Rep. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel.
Here's what the bill is all about:
Equal rights, not special rights. The bill does not grant additional or special rights to LGBTs. What it does is criminalize violations to the human rights and freedoms on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. The bill affirms and promotes human rights and freedoms that are enshrined in the Constitution.
Equality in schools. The bill prohibits discrimination against LGBT students, which usually takes place through unfair admission policies, unjust expulsion, and unreasonable disciplinary actions.
Equal opportunities in employment. By criminalizing unfair labor practices and policies on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, the bill promotes decent jobs for LGBT workers.
Removing stigma in healthcare. The bill bans hospitals, clinics, and medical personnel like doctors and nurses from discriminating against or abusing LGBT patients.
Fighting police abuse. Stiffer penalties are imposed on law enforcers who abuse the law from the anti-trafficking law to harassing, torturing, or extorting money from LGBTs.
Organizing for LGBT pride. The bill affirms the freedom of assembly and association by disallowing discrimination in the establishment of LGBT groups in schools, workplace, communities and in politics.
Equal access to establishments. The bill ensures that establishments that are open to the public like malls, restaurants, and bars, among others, are open to all, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Gays and lesbians in the police and military. The police and military are barred from screening out competent LGBTs who want to join the force. Under the bill, they are also not allowed to remove LGBT policeman or woman and soldiers due to their sexual orientation and gender identity.
Penalizing discrimination. Under the bill, a person found guilty of discriminating against LGBTs can be fined up to $500,000 and/or imprisoned for a maximum of six years. S/he may also be required to undergo human rights education.
About non-discrimination, not same-sex marriage. Homophobic groups wrongfully claim that the bill is about same-sex marriage. But here's the truth: 1.) the legal recognition of same-sex marriage requires a separate bill, and 2.) there is absolutely nothing wrong about consensual same-sex relationships.
Here's what the bill is all about:
Equal rights, not special rights. The bill does not grant additional or special rights to LGBTs. What it does is criminalize violations to the human rights and freedoms on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. The bill affirms and promotes human rights and freedoms that are enshrined in the Constitution.
Equality in schools. The bill prohibits discrimination against LGBT students, which usually takes place through unfair admission policies, unjust expulsion, and unreasonable disciplinary actions.
Equal opportunities in employment. By criminalizing unfair labor practices and policies on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, the bill promotes decent jobs for LGBT workers.
Removing stigma in healthcare. The bill bans hospitals, clinics, and medical personnel like doctors and nurses from discriminating against or abusing LGBT patients.
Fighting police abuse. Stiffer penalties are imposed on law enforcers who abuse the law from the anti-trafficking law to harassing, torturing, or extorting money from LGBTs.
Organizing for LGBT pride. The bill affirms the freedom of assembly and association by disallowing discrimination in the establishment of LGBT groups in schools, workplace, communities and in politics.
Equal access to establishments. The bill ensures that establishments that are open to the public like malls, restaurants, and bars, among others, are open to all, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Gays and lesbians in the police and military. The police and military are barred from screening out competent LGBTs who want to join the force. Under the bill, they are also not allowed to remove LGBT policeman or woman and soldiers due to their sexual orientation and gender identity.
Penalizing discrimination. Under the bill, a person found guilty of discriminating against LGBTs can be fined up to $500,000 and/or imprisoned for a maximum of six years. S/he may also be required to undergo human rights education.
About non-discrimination, not same-sex marriage. Homophobic groups wrongfully claim that the bill is about same-sex marriage. But here's the truth: 1.) the legal recognition of same-sex marriage requires a separate bill, and 2.) there is absolutely nothing wrong about consensual same-sex relationships.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Disappointing Descent
I would first like to begin this post by recognizing the fact that it's been quite a while since I last posted... well, for me at least. I've simply been swamped with the nannying, maiding, and waitressing responsibilities that are going to be paying for my college tuition, London trip, and a whole heap of bills that the real adult world has seen fit to hit me with all at once. And I wish had another one of my funny little stories to share with you... but instead I'll talk about something on my mind that's a little more serious.
Alright. So last night I came home, utterly exhausted, from a long day's work and felt like doing nothing but laying in bed with my dogs and watching a movie - it ended up being Descent, starring Rosario Dawson and Chad Faust. It’s about a college-aged woman (Dawson) who orchestrates the rape of the man (Faust) that date-raped her. Got all that? I’m really not giving anything away; all of this is pretty much declared on the back cover.
Half of the movie was fine; nothing new, but definitely worthwhile. I was completely committed to the story line as we saw Dawson’s character deal with the aftermath of being assaulted. But when things suddenly stopped being explained and her entire demeanor changed altogether, I cried foul. She went from being withdrawn, confused, depressed and frightened to cold, calculating, manipulative, seductive and borderline misanthropic. Now such a transition isn’t impossible, but if you’re going to put the main character on such an arc the audience deserves an explanation.
In the interest of full disclosure, I can’t be impartial when it comes to storylines involving rape. The issue affects me greatly to this day, and it is just not possible for me to separate the topic from my personal feelings and prior experiences. However, I don’t think my past should prevent me from having valid opinions about the way rape is portrayed in the entertainment industry.
What angered me about this movie was that Dawson’s character’s actions made no sense. Out of nowhere she had the power, control and composure to lure her rapist into a secluded area. She effortlessly convinced him to let her blindfold, handcuff and tie him spread eagle to a bed. I don’t understand how Faust’s character could not know that some awful fate was awaiting him... I don’t buy that he was just so cocky that he really thought she had changed her mind about him and really wanted to fuck his brains out mere months after he brutally attacked her. (Just as a side note, there was no grey area in the initial rape scene between Dawson and Faust. She’s screaming and fighting and he tells her that she’s a dirty cunt etc. etc. etc.)
In the end, a big black man appears and rapes the rapist. The skinny white boy screams and thrashes against the bed for several minutes while the black rapist tells him to take it all etc. etc. etc. To be fair, the man is introduced as a shady character earlier in the film, but it is never even hinted that he would be up for such an act.
I don’t understand what I’m supposed to take away from this film. Obviously no real revenge can ever soothe the pain of being raped. Did I really need to see the parting shot of Dawson crying in the dark corner? I don’t think that any new questions were raised. I don’t think that any new aspects of the issue were explored.
Out of sheer curiosity I listened to a bonus feature question and answer session with Dawson and the writer/director, and was physically sick listening to them justify this movie as a champion of victims’ rights. I was flabbergasted as they explained that they screened the film for Eve Ensler, the mastermind behind The Vagina Monologues, and the entire V-day staff went nuts in support of it. What kind of message does it send when authorities in sexual assualt prevention support a movie that depicts male rape as the answer?
Maybe it’s just too late for me to be thinking about all of this, or maybe I need a clearer head in the morning for actual intelligent reflection, but I challenge whoever may be reading this to watch this film and decide for yourself if it is worth anything. I would love to hear someone else’s impartial thoughts and opinions.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Dead Poets Society Mini-Essay
Carpe Diem -- seize the day. This is the message we try to instill in the minds of our youth from generation to generation, knowing all too well that the transition from adolescence to adulthood happens in the blink of an eye, the way life itself moves at a hyperspeed pace. Yet at the very same time, we contradict ourselves in taking away those things that define this strange period between child and grown-up. What we must realize is that reality is waiting just around the corner, and preparing those who will carry us into the future may mean taking a departure from stiff tradition.
Our teenage years are, or at least should be, about preparing us for the real world when we have to face it on our own. Beyond academics -- all of the factual memorization and Calculus exams -- when the safety net is cut down and the realities of life come into play, who is going to prepare us for that test? A parent's job obviously includes steering their child in the right direction, teaching them right from wrong, and correcting them when they themselves are unable to see the error of their ways. Everyone reaches a point, however, when they need to be left alone to fend for themselves. They need to learn how to make tough decisions and live with the consequences that accompany their choices, because in the real world there is no mommy or daddy to make the right one for you. We are effectively asking our kids to ace the "life exam" after having done all of their assignments for them. It puts our young adults at a disadvantage to instead anticipate if and when they may stumble... it is when we fall the hardest that we learn how to pick ourselves up and continue through life as braver, smarter human beings more resolved in achieving our dreams.
Dreams are an interesting thing to think about. They are the one thing that is unique to each one of us, the one thing we have that is ours alone, the one thing that no one can take away from us. Despite this, it seems that many parents attempt to snatch away every aspiration their child may have, only for it to undergo a screening process fitted to their own wants and desires. These are the parents that hide behind the excuse of wanting their child to take advantage of the opportunities they weren't given, but in reality are living out their own life goals through their offspring. Apparently by the age of seventeen or eighteen, we're still not mature enough to think for ourselves or ascertain what career we should pursue. But listen closely, moms and dads: your time has come and passed. Maybe you are resentful because you weren't able to live the life you wanted, but this is exactly why allowing your children to be who they want to be is so important. Odds are instead of opening their eyes years later and discovering you were right, they'll live in regret wondering what might have been. So have confidence in the job you've done in raising them. You yourself have to learn that what is best for your child is allowing them to be and do what makes them happy.
In "Dead Poets Society" John Keating was the perfect model of a positive adult influence in the lives of the teenagers he taught. He made the boys in the film realize that certain rules are there for a reason and the ability to follow them is a part of adult life. There are times, however, when unwarranted restrictions must be opposed, times where you have to depart from the traditional mindset in order to find your own identity and fight for what you believe is right. Some might say that Keating did not encourage them to think for themselves, but encouraged them to take foolish risks without thinking of the consequences. The thing is, making the right decision isn't always easy and it isn't always accepted and life isn't as cut-and-dry as someone like J. Evans Pritchard, Ph. D. might think. To have the courage to defy authority in the name of free thought is to think of the consequences. Would anyone dare call the risks Martin Luther King, Jr. took in exercising civil disobedience foolish? Of course not, because if he did not break the law odds are blacks would still suffer from oppression in America today. Mr. Keating's approach was important because it is an important thing to have individuals in society that stand up for who they are and what they believe in, especially because those in power don't always have it right; the society in which we live is not stagnant, but progressive.
So parents, cherish the time you have to hold your kid's hand as you lead them along the path to adulthood, remembering that before long you have to let go. And kids, make the time you have before you reach that fork in the road where the difficult decisions start meaningful. Carpe Diem -- seize the day.
Our teenage years are, or at least should be, about preparing us for the real world when we have to face it on our own. Beyond academics -- all of the factual memorization and Calculus exams -- when the safety net is cut down and the realities of life come into play, who is going to prepare us for that test? A parent's job obviously includes steering their child in the right direction, teaching them right from wrong, and correcting them when they themselves are unable to see the error of their ways. Everyone reaches a point, however, when they need to be left alone to fend for themselves. They need to learn how to make tough decisions and live with the consequences that accompany their choices, because in the real world there is no mommy or daddy to make the right one for you. We are effectively asking our kids to ace the "life exam" after having done all of their assignments for them. It puts our young adults at a disadvantage to instead anticipate if and when they may stumble... it is when we fall the hardest that we learn how to pick ourselves up and continue through life as braver, smarter human beings more resolved in achieving our dreams.
Dreams are an interesting thing to think about. They are the one thing that is unique to each one of us, the one thing we have that is ours alone, the one thing that no one can take away from us. Despite this, it seems that many parents attempt to snatch away every aspiration their child may have, only for it to undergo a screening process fitted to their own wants and desires. These are the parents that hide behind the excuse of wanting their child to take advantage of the opportunities they weren't given, but in reality are living out their own life goals through their offspring. Apparently by the age of seventeen or eighteen, we're still not mature enough to think for ourselves or ascertain what career we should pursue. But listen closely, moms and dads: your time has come and passed. Maybe you are resentful because you weren't able to live the life you wanted, but this is exactly why allowing your children to be who they want to be is so important. Odds are instead of opening their eyes years later and discovering you were right, they'll live in regret wondering what might have been. So have confidence in the job you've done in raising them. You yourself have to learn that what is best for your child is allowing them to be and do what makes them happy.
In "Dead Poets Society" John Keating was the perfect model of a positive adult influence in the lives of the teenagers he taught. He made the boys in the film realize that certain rules are there for a reason and the ability to follow them is a part of adult life. There are times, however, when unwarranted restrictions must be opposed, times where you have to depart from the traditional mindset in order to find your own identity and fight for what you believe is right. Some might say that Keating did not encourage them to think for themselves, but encouraged them to take foolish risks without thinking of the consequences. The thing is, making the right decision isn't always easy and it isn't always accepted and life isn't as cut-and-dry as someone like J. Evans Pritchard, Ph. D. might think. To have the courage to defy authority in the name of free thought is to think of the consequences. Would anyone dare call the risks Martin Luther King, Jr. took in exercising civil disobedience foolish? Of course not, because if he did not break the law odds are blacks would still suffer from oppression in America today. Mr. Keating's approach was important because it is an important thing to have individuals in society that stand up for who they are and what they believe in, especially because those in power don't always have it right; the society in which we live is not stagnant, but progressive.
So parents, cherish the time you have to hold your kid's hand as you lead them along the path to adulthood, remembering that before long you have to let go. And kids, make the time you have before you reach that fork in the road where the difficult decisions start meaningful. Carpe Diem -- seize the day.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
My 50 Things Bucket List
"Don't be afraid of death so much as an inadequate life."
-- Bertolt Brecht
Before I die, in no particular order I want to...
1. Get deployed to an African country through the Peace Corps and make an impact on the lives of the sick and poor.
2. Live in a chic modern-style apartment in downtown Chicago and enjoy all of the entertainment the city has to offer with my best friend Jennifer for six months.
3. See my ancestral history in Ireland; this includes exploring the scenic countryside, celebrating the nightlife of Dublin, and taking home a hot Irish chick with an accent (just kidding).
4. Be serenaded on a Venetician gondola ride with my sweetheart in Italy after having the best gelatto of my life.
5. Exchange wedding vows at sunset on a rocky cliff in Greece with a spectacular view of the ocean.
6. Dance in front of the Louvre late at night on my honeymoon in Paris.
7. Put chunky highlights of some funky and unnatural color in my hair -- like blue!
8. Have my nosed pierced with a teensy-weensy sparkly pink stud in it.
9. Get a tattoo of "Carpe Diem" in Celtic lettering with a symbol of the Trinity on either side.
10. Conquer my fear of heights by skydiving over Seville, Spain, while on vacation there.
11. Purchase an old Victorian-style house, restore it to its former grandeur, and make it a home.
12. Have two children that are biologically mine and name them Gracie & Hayden.
13. Adopt a little girl from China and name her Isabelle.
14. Learn to play the acoustic guitar, piano, and saxophone -- and well, so I can perform in front of a live audience (even if it's in my living room).
15. Buy an eco-friendly car powered by electric or hydroelectric technology (presently this is the Honda Civic hybrid).
16. Attend and graduate from Saint Xavier University, majoring and minoring in History and English (I haven't decided which is which yet) along with a teaching license and certification to teach Debate.
17. Enlist in the AmeriCorps NCCC program ("Teach for America") and provide a good education to inner-city children... without having to take the Michelle Pfeiffer leather jacket approach.
18. Have a side career as a professional photographer with a focus on black and white photography.
19. Go back to law school at KU and become a Civil Rights attorney.
20. Become a master chef of French cuisine.
21. Spend six months in New York City bartending.
22. Have the most awesome new martini ever named after me & actually appear on a menu.
23. Have a Siberian Husky with a black and white coat and blue eyes as a pet.
24. Participate in a program that focuses on caring for and restoring chimps into the wild.
26. Become an experienced swing and ballroom dancer.
27. Spend an entire summer touring the most haunted places in the United States -- and see a ghost!
28. Manage to get and stay tan year-round safely by buying an insanely expensive professional spray-tanning machine.
29. Travel to India and meditate in an ashram to learn to appreciate silence and the power of prayer.
30. Go cruisin' in my black 1956 Jag Roadster with the top down.
31. Attend a weekly yoga class and eventually become an instructor.
32. Adhere to a strict diet, er, lifestyle change, and get down to a size 4, around 110 lbs.
33. Coach softball and basketball from the little league to middle school levels.
34. Publish a memoir detailing all of my life experiences for my children and grandchildren.
35. Appear on an episode of "Trading Spaces" with Hildi as our design coach so we can transform our neighbor's room into a very, uh, unique space.
36. Become a certified scuba diver in Bermuda without getting stung by a stingray or eaten alive by a shark.
37. Explore the Galapagos Islands and reflect upon Charles Darwin's own experiences there in an attempt to become scientifically and evolutionarily enlightened.
38. Gallop a horse in a race across a beach in Los Cabos, Mexico.
39. Buy a log cabin in rural Colorado to stay in on skiing trips.
40. Build an elaborate sand castle off the shores of Maine's coast.
41. Enroll in language classes with a goal of becoming fluent in Spanish, French, and Italian.
42. Jog along the Great Wall of China at sunrise.
43. Prove to myself that out-of-body experiences are real by having one.
44. Form an expedition to climb the Korakoram Range in Pakistan.
45. Enjoy a conversation over a cup of coffee with Tina Fey (I know, you thought I was going to say Barack Obama...).
46. Witness the Northern Lights on the Kanai Peninsula in Alaska.
47. Bungee jump by way of the "Bungee Bullet" off of the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia.
48. Obtain a private pilot certificate and fly to each of the 50 states.
49. Run for some sort of public office; governor would be nice (however improbable).
50. Bowl a perfect game by exclusive means of the "granny bowling" strategy.
-- Bertolt Brecht
Before I die, in no particular order I want to...
1. Get deployed to an African country through the Peace Corps and make an impact on the lives of the sick and poor.
2. Live in a chic modern-style apartment in downtown Chicago and enjoy all of the entertainment the city has to offer with my best friend Jennifer for six months.
3. See my ancestral history in Ireland; this includes exploring the scenic countryside, celebrating the nightlife of Dublin, and taking home a hot Irish chick with an accent (just kidding).
4. Be serenaded on a Venetician gondola ride with my sweetheart in Italy after having the best gelatto of my life.
5. Exchange wedding vows at sunset on a rocky cliff in Greece with a spectacular view of the ocean.
6. Dance in front of the Louvre late at night on my honeymoon in Paris.
7. Put chunky highlights of some funky and unnatural color in my hair -- like blue!
8. Have my nosed pierced with a teensy-weensy sparkly pink stud in it.
9. Get a tattoo of "Carpe Diem" in Celtic lettering with a symbol of the Trinity on either side.
10. Conquer my fear of heights by skydiving over Seville, Spain, while on vacation there.
11. Purchase an old Victorian-style house, restore it to its former grandeur, and make it a home.
12. Have two children that are biologically mine and name them Gracie & Hayden.
13. Adopt a little girl from China and name her Isabelle.
14. Learn to play the acoustic guitar, piano, and saxophone -- and well, so I can perform in front of a live audience (even if it's in my living room).
15. Buy an eco-friendly car powered by electric or hydroelectric technology (presently this is the Honda Civic hybrid).
16. Attend and graduate from Saint Xavier University, majoring and minoring in History and English (I haven't decided which is which yet) along with a teaching license and certification to teach Debate.
17. Enlist in the AmeriCorps NCCC program ("Teach for America") and provide a good education to inner-city children... without having to take the Michelle Pfeiffer leather jacket approach.
18. Have a side career as a professional photographer with a focus on black and white photography.
19. Go back to law school at KU and become a Civil Rights attorney.
20. Become a master chef of French cuisine.
21. Spend six months in New York City bartending.
22. Have the most awesome new martini ever named after me & actually appear on a menu.
23. Have a Siberian Husky with a black and white coat and blue eyes as a pet.
24. Participate in a program that focuses on caring for and restoring chimps into the wild.
26. Become an experienced swing and ballroom dancer.
27. Spend an entire summer touring the most haunted places in the United States -- and see a ghost!
28. Manage to get and stay tan year-round safely by buying an insanely expensive professional spray-tanning machine.
29. Travel to India and meditate in an ashram to learn to appreciate silence and the power of prayer.
30. Go cruisin' in my black 1956 Jag Roadster with the top down.
31. Attend a weekly yoga class and eventually become an instructor.
32. Adhere to a strict diet, er, lifestyle change, and get down to a size 4, around 110 lbs.
33. Coach softball and basketball from the little league to middle school levels.
34. Publish a memoir detailing all of my life experiences for my children and grandchildren.
35. Appear on an episode of "Trading Spaces" with Hildi as our design coach so we can transform our neighbor's room into a very, uh, unique space.
36. Become a certified scuba diver in Bermuda without getting stung by a stingray or eaten alive by a shark.
37. Explore the Galapagos Islands and reflect upon Charles Darwin's own experiences there in an attempt to become scientifically and evolutionarily enlightened.
38. Gallop a horse in a race across a beach in Los Cabos, Mexico.
39. Buy a log cabin in rural Colorado to stay in on skiing trips.
40. Build an elaborate sand castle off the shores of Maine's coast.
41. Enroll in language classes with a goal of becoming fluent in Spanish, French, and Italian.
42. Jog along the Great Wall of China at sunrise.
43. Prove to myself that out-of-body experiences are real by having one.
44. Form an expedition to climb the Korakoram Range in Pakistan.
45. Enjoy a conversation over a cup of coffee with Tina Fey (I know, you thought I was going to say Barack Obama...).
46. Witness the Northern Lights on the Kanai Peninsula in Alaska.
47. Bungee jump by way of the "Bungee Bullet" off of the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia.
48. Obtain a private pilot certificate and fly to each of the 50 states.
49. Run for some sort of public office; governor would be nice (however improbable).
50. Bowl a perfect game by exclusive means of the "granny bowling" strategy.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Crazed Color Obsession
Colors are overrated. You've seen one sunset and you've seen them all, especially when viewed from the same angle from the same balcony in the same place almost every time. But humans are obsessed with colors, attaching them to everything from "Blue Mondays" to "Orange Wednesdays", and now, due to color overuse, we've run out.
There are more colors in existence than the non-enlightened mind can imagine, but most of them don’t have names yet. The average person can’t even name the 120 Crayola colors, yet alone the 4x109 colors available on the average monitor. As such, as soon as we get beyond "Pale Peach" and "Midnight blue", we have to resort to "A little bit lighter than 'Fuzzy-Wuzzy Brown'"and the whole thing becomes ridiculous. The only other option is to use Hexadecimal, but, somehow, telling your sweetheart "their eyes are of the deepest #DEA681" isn't quite the same.
To solve this, we assigned colors "themes." For example, black came to signify death, green, nature, and yellow, vomit.
Red, being a hot color, is used for things that make us passionately hot under the collar, such as love, anger or a third-degree sunburn. It reminds us both of danger and of romance, and easily encompasses both love and anger as varying expressions of passion.
It may interest you to know that red stands for far more than just kisses and slaps. It is the color of power, war, warnings, fire, sin, guilt, sex, dwarves, communism, and of course, the wiggly line under spelling mistakes in Microsoft Word. For the latter reason, if nothing else, the color red has made the world a much better place; I dread to think where the blogosphere would be without it.
There are more colors in existence than the non-enlightened mind can imagine, but most of them don’t have names yet. The average person can’t even name the 120 Crayola colors, yet alone the 4x109 colors available on the average monitor. As such, as soon as we get beyond "Pale Peach" and "Midnight blue", we have to resort to "A little bit lighter than 'Fuzzy-Wuzzy Brown'"and the whole thing becomes ridiculous. The only other option is to use Hexadecimal, but, somehow, telling your sweetheart "their eyes are of the deepest #DEA681" isn't quite the same.To solve this, we assigned colors "themes." For example, black came to signify death, green, nature, and yellow, vomit.
Red, being a hot color, is used for things that make us passionately hot under the collar, such as love, anger or a third-degree sunburn. It reminds us both of danger and of romance, and easily encompasses both love and anger as varying expressions of passion.
It may interest you to know that red stands for far more than just kisses and slaps. It is the color of power, war, warnings, fire, sin, guilt, sex, dwarves, communism, and of course, the wiggly line under spelling mistakes in Microsoft Word. For the latter reason, if nothing else, the color red has made the world a much better place; I dread to think where the blogosphere would be without it.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
...No, You Really Don't Want Nirvana
Buddha believed in ultimate happiness. He believed that to find Nirvana you must free yourself from desire. This, of course, is complete bull. To quote the great philosopher Will Young, losing desire means you "lose the highs to be spared the lows." As such, all that can truly be experienced is an ultimate state of "meh." Besides, based on his depictions, Buddha was a fat, jolly man and a thin, serious one, making him a schizophrenic and about as trustworthy as Fox News.
We ourselves are proof that ultimate happiness is impossible. Our smiles last for only a moment, normally a reaction to something good, such as a funny joke or even a brilliant Bridget blog. However, this state of "good" lasts only a small amount of time. If it didn’t, each subsequent thing would have to be better than the last in order for us to feel as good about it, until the world became one happy, bouncy ball of bunnies and page three models, at which point there would be nothing to strive for. Everything would be good. And we would all be bored out of our freakin' minds. With nothing to make us feel bad we would have no reason to feel good at all. And as a loud noise eventually fades into the background, so too our good feelings would become dull and invisible. Plus, everyone smiling all the time would be just plain disturbing.
Finally, it is impossible to define the "ultimate" anything; one man’s trash is another man’s Holy Grail (Sorry for the poor analogy, what can I say I've been watching Monty Python!) Ultimate happiness means different things to everyone; one person becoming happy would mean another could not. At the very most only 50% of the world could be happy at any one time, at which point we'd have to take it in turns and be happy every other week. And this would be far from anyone's idea of ultimate happiness... unless, of course, they were a little bit Buddha.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
An Indispensable Influence
It seems as though my writing classes have kept me increasingly busy these days. My latest assignment required me to write an informal "Teacher of the Year" nomination within our high school.
Teachers are indispensable. Without them, America, us, our children -- we have no future. It is teachers that get up every morning and spend every day training our minds and inspiring our hearts. There is one in particular that has gone far beyond the requirements of her job description to teach me what I need to know.
I’ve known Katie Montgomery for around three and a half years now. I’ve also taken pretty much every course she offers: English, Debate, Forensics, ACT Prep, Theatre Production, and Technical Theatre, plus various plays she directs at our high school. I was even part of a group that she and her brother took on a trip to London this past summer. And at some point throughout all of this, I’ve ceased to call her "Ms. Montgomery" and now address her as "Monty."
You see, Monty isn’t your average high school instructor. She doesn’t stand at the front of the room with a solemn expression and proceed to give a monotone lecture that falls upon deaf ears. Though a strict follower of the rules, she has a fresh sense of humor, intelligence, enthusiasm, and a style that reaches out to students in a way that is both engaging and understandable. You can bet that when she speaks, not only will you benefit from the content of her message, but you'll also want to hear it.
As a senior, I am shocked by how fast high school has flown by (wasn’t Freshman orientation just yesterday?) and have been reflecting on what I've learned. I could go on and on about the history of the theatre, and I could explain underlying themes of English literature, and I could teach you the art of formal argument, and I certainly could reveal a Grammar Nazi side to my readers. With all of this information, academic tests are a breeze. What sets Monty apart from the rest, however, is that she doesn’t stop there. High school is, or at least should be, about preparing us for the real world when we have to face it on our own. When the safety net is cut down and the realities of life come into play, who is going to prepare us for that test? I am immeasurably grateful that someone was there to also teach me about that. I’m grateful that my confidence in my speaking ability has soared, that I know how to operate power tools and even a sewing machine, that amongst chaos I can problem-solve, that I can bite my tongue when I want to run my mouth, that I know how to include essentials in my travel bag instead of technological goodies should there be airport delays. I am grateful.
Monty has been there for us through kidney stones, nasty rumors, family deaths, and any other imaginable teenage crisis. Even when knucklehead students vandalize her driveway with ketchup male genitalia because they think it’s funny or cuss her out and attempt to punch her because their grammar was corrected, her level of sacrifice is astounding. Monday through Friday she gives her all from 7:40 in the morning to 2:40 in the afternoon, offers coaching after school, spends her Saturdays taking Debate and Forensics squads to tournaments, and directs the Fall and Spring plays, which require late-night practices and extensive set-building. I know for a fact there were some nights when she didn’t head home until after 11:00 p.m. – a 15-hour day. I have to say that this really means a lot. This woman is a real human being with her own fiancé, friends, and life outside of school, and that makes the things she’s done for us mean even more.
Ms. Montgomery – Monty – has been an extremely influential figure throughout high school. As I look ahead to the future, going it alone in college seems a bit intimidating. Yet I feel more prepared than I ever have for the challenges that lie ahead of me, and I have her to thank for that. Upon my next graduation, when it’s time for me to start a career of my own, I’ll be thinking about Monty and how she has affected the lives of so many people like me. The thing is, I’m going to be a teacher. And if I’m half the educator she is, I’ll be damn proud of myself.
Teachers are indispensable. Without them, America, us, our children -- we have no future. It is teachers that get up every morning and spend every day training our minds and inspiring our hearts. There is one in particular that has gone far beyond the requirements of her job description to teach me what I need to know.
I’ve known Katie Montgomery for around three and a half years now. I’ve also taken pretty much every course she offers: English, Debate, Forensics, ACT Prep, Theatre Production, and Technical Theatre, plus various plays she directs at our high school. I was even part of a group that she and her brother took on a trip to London this past summer. And at some point throughout all of this, I’ve ceased to call her "Ms. Montgomery" and now address her as "Monty."
You see, Monty isn’t your average high school instructor. She doesn’t stand at the front of the room with a solemn expression and proceed to give a monotone lecture that falls upon deaf ears. Though a strict follower of the rules, she has a fresh sense of humor, intelligence, enthusiasm, and a style that reaches out to students in a way that is both engaging and understandable. You can bet that when she speaks, not only will you benefit from the content of her message, but you'll also want to hear it.
As a senior, I am shocked by how fast high school has flown by (wasn’t Freshman orientation just yesterday?) and have been reflecting on what I've learned. I could go on and on about the history of the theatre, and I could explain underlying themes of English literature, and I could teach you the art of formal argument, and I certainly could reveal a Grammar Nazi side to my readers. With all of this information, academic tests are a breeze. What sets Monty apart from the rest, however, is that she doesn’t stop there. High school is, or at least should be, about preparing us for the real world when we have to face it on our own. When the safety net is cut down and the realities of life come into play, who is going to prepare us for that test? I am immeasurably grateful that someone was there to also teach me about that. I’m grateful that my confidence in my speaking ability has soared, that I know how to operate power tools and even a sewing machine, that amongst chaos I can problem-solve, that I can bite my tongue when I want to run my mouth, that I know how to include essentials in my travel bag instead of technological goodies should there be airport delays. I am grateful.
Monty has been there for us through kidney stones, nasty rumors, family deaths, and any other imaginable teenage crisis. Even when knucklehead students vandalize her driveway with ketchup male genitalia because they think it’s funny or cuss her out and attempt to punch her because their grammar was corrected, her level of sacrifice is astounding. Monday through Friday she gives her all from 7:40 in the morning to 2:40 in the afternoon, offers coaching after school, spends her Saturdays taking Debate and Forensics squads to tournaments, and directs the Fall and Spring plays, which require late-night practices and extensive set-building. I know for a fact there were some nights when she didn’t head home until after 11:00 p.m. – a 15-hour day. I have to say that this really means a lot. This woman is a real human being with her own fiancé, friends, and life outside of school, and that makes the things she’s done for us mean even more.
Ms. Montgomery – Monty – has been an extremely influential figure throughout high school. As I look ahead to the future, going it alone in college seems a bit intimidating. Yet I feel more prepared than I ever have for the challenges that lie ahead of me, and I have her to thank for that. Upon my next graduation, when it’s time for me to start a career of my own, I’ll be thinking about Monty and how she has affected the lives of so many people like me. The thing is, I’m going to be a teacher. And if I’m half the educator she is, I’ll be damn proud of myself.
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