My 50 Things Bucket List

"Don't be afraid of death so much as an inadequate life."
-- Bertolt Brecht

Before I die, in no particular order I want to...


1. Get deployed to an African country through the Peace Corps and make an impact on the lives of the sick and poor.

2. Live in a chic modern-style apartment in downtown Chicago and enjoy all of the entertainment the city has to offer with my best friend Jennifer for six months.

3. See my ancestral history in Ireland; this includes exploring the scenic countryside, celebrating the nightlife of Dublin, and taking home a hot Irish chick with an accent (just kidding).

4. Be serenaded on a Venetician gondola ride with my sweetheart in Italy after having the best gelatto of my life.

5. Exchange wedding vows at sunset on a rocky cliff in Greece with a spectacular view of the ocean.

6. Dance in front of the Louvre late at night on my honeymoon in Paris.

7. Put chunky highlights of some funky and unnatural color in my hair -- like blue!

8. Have my nosed pierced with a teensy-weensy sparkly pink stud in it.

9. Get a tattoo of "Carpe Diem" in Celtic lettering with a symbol of the Trinity on either side.

10. Conquer my fear of heights by skydiving over Seville, Spain, while on vacation there.

11. Purchase an old Victorian-style house, restore it to its former grandeur, and make it a home.

12. Have two children that are biologically mine and name them Gracie & Hayden.

13. Adopt a little girl from China and name her Isabelle.

14. Learn to play the acoustic guitar, piano, and saxophone -- and well, so I can perform in front of a live audience (even if it's in my living room).

15. Buy an eco-friendly car powered by electric or hydroelectric technology (presently this is the Honda Civic hybrid).

16. Attend and graduate from Saint Xavier University, majoring and minoring in History and English (I haven't decided which is which yet) along with a teaching license and certification to teach Debate.

17. Enlist in the AmeriCorps NCCC program ("Teach for America") and provide a good education to inner-city children... without having to take the Michelle Pfeiffer leather jacket approach.

18. Have a side career as a professional photographer with a focus on black and white photography.

19. Go back to law school at KU and become a Civil Rights attorney.

20. Become a master chef of French cuisine.

21. Spend six months in New York City bartending.

22. Have the most awesome new martini ever named after me & actually appear on a menu.

23. Have a Siberian Husky with a black and white coat and blue eyes as a pet.

24. Participate in a program that focuses on caring for and restoring chimps into the wild.

26. Become an experienced swing and ballroom dancer.

27. Spend an entire summer touring the most haunted places in the United States -- and see a ghost!

28. Manage to get and stay tan year-round safely by buying an insanely expensive professional spray-tanning machine.

29. Travel to India and meditate in an ashram to learn to appreciate silence and the power of prayer.

30. Go cruisin' in my black 1956 Jag Roadster with the top down.

31. Attend a weekly yoga class and eventually become an instructor.

32. Adhere to a strict diet, er, lifestyle change, and get down to a size 4, around 110 lbs.

33. Coach softball and basketball from the little league to middle school levels.

34. Publish a memoir detailing all of my life experiences for my children and grandchildren.

35. Appear on an episode of "Trading Spaces" with Hildi as our design coach so we can transform our neighbor's room into a very, uh, unique space.

36. Become a certified scuba diver in Bermuda without getting stung by a stingray or eaten alive by a shark.

37. Explore the Galapagos Islands and reflect upon Charles Darwin's own experiences there in an attempt to become scientifically and evolutionarily enlightened.

38. Gallop a horse in a race across a beach in Los Cabos, Mexico.

39. Buy a log cabin in rural Colorado to stay in on skiing trips.

40. Build an elaborate sand castle off the shores of Maine's coast.

41. Enroll in language classes with a goal of becoming fluent in Spanish, French, and Italian.

42. Jog along the Great Wall of China at sunrise.

43. Prove to myself that out-of-body experiences are real by having one.

44. Form an expedition to climb the Korakoram Range in Pakistan.

45. Enjoy a conversation over a cup of coffee with Tina Fey (I know, you thought I was going to say Barack Obama...).

46. Witness the Northern Lights on the Kanai Peninsula in Alaska.

47. Bungee jump by way of the "Bungee Bullet" off of the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia.

48. Obtain a private pilot certificate and fly to each of the 50 states.

49. Run for some sort of public office; governor would be nice (however improbable).

50. Bowl a perfect game by exclusive means of the "granny bowling" strategy.