Carpe Diem -- seize the day. This is the message we try to instill in the minds of our youth from generation to generation, knowing all too well that the transition from adolescence to adulthood happens in the blink of an eye, the way life itself moves at a hyperspeed pace. Yet at the very same time, we contradict ourselves in taking away those things that define this strange period between child and grown-up. What we must realize is that reality is waiting just around the corner, and preparing those who will carry us into the future may mean taking a departure from stiff tradition.
Our teenage years are, or at least should be, about preparing us for the real world when we have to face it on our own. Beyond academics -- all of the factual memorization and Calculus exams -- when the safety net is cut down and the realities of life come into play, who is going to prepare us for that test? A parent's job obviously includes steering their child in the right direction, teaching them right from wrong, and correcting them when they themselves are unable to see the error of their ways. Everyone reaches a point, however, when they need to be left alone to fend for themselves. They need to learn how to make tough decisions and live with the consequences that accompany their choices, because in the real world there is no mommy or daddy to make the right one for you. We are effectively asking our kids to ace the "life exam" after having done all of their assignments for them. It puts our young adults at a disadvantage to instead anticipate if and when they may stumble... it is when we fall the hardest that we learn how to pick ourselves up and continue through life as braver, smarter human beings more resolved in achieving our dreams.
Dreams are an interesting thing to think about. They are the one thing that is unique to each one of us, the one thing we have that is ours alone, the one thing that no one can take away from us. Despite this, it seems that many parents attempt to snatch away every aspiration their child may have, only for it to undergo a screening process fitted to their own wants and desires. These are the parents that hide behind the excuse of wanting their child to take advantage of the opportunities they weren't given, but in reality are living out their own life goals through their offspring. Apparently by the age of seventeen or eighteen, we're still not mature enough to think for ourselves or ascertain what career we should pursue. But listen closely, moms and dads: your time has come and passed. Maybe you are resentful because you weren't able to live the life you wanted, but this is exactly why allowing your children to be who they want to be is so important. Odds are instead of opening their eyes years later and discovering you were right, they'll live in regret wondering what might have been. So have confidence in the job you've done in raising them. You yourself have to learn that what is best for your child is allowing them to be and do what makes them happy.
In "Dead Poets Society" John Keating was the perfect model of a positive adult influence in the lives of the teenagers he taught. He made the boys in the film realize that certain rules are there for a reason and the ability to follow them is a part of adult life. There are times, however, when unwarranted restrictions must be opposed, times where you have to depart from the traditional mindset in order to find your own identity and fight for what you believe is right. Some might say that Keating did not encourage them to think for themselves, but encouraged them to take foolish risks without thinking of the consequences. The thing is, making the right decision isn't always easy and it isn't always accepted and life isn't as cut-and-dry as someone like J. Evans Pritchard, Ph. D. might think. To have the courage to defy authority in the name of free thought is to think of the consequences. Would anyone dare call the risks Martin Luther King, Jr. took in exercising civil disobedience foolish? Of course not, because if he did not break the law odds are blacks would still suffer from oppression in America today. Mr. Keating's approach was important because it is an important thing to have individuals in society that stand up for who they are and what they believe in, especially because those in power don't always have it right; the society in which we live is not stagnant, but progressive.
So parents, cherish the time you have to hold your kid's hand as you lead them along the path to adulthood, remembering that before long you have to let go. And kids, make the time you have before you reach that fork in the road where the difficult decisions start meaningful. Carpe Diem -- seize the day.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
My 50 Things Bucket List
"Don't be afraid of death so much as an inadequate life."
-- Bertolt Brecht
Before I die, in no particular order I want to...
1. Get deployed to an African country through the Peace Corps and make an impact on the lives of the sick and poor.
2. Live in a chic modern-style apartment in downtown Chicago and enjoy all of the entertainment the city has to offer with my best friend Jennifer for six months.
3. See my ancestral history in Ireland; this includes exploring the scenic countryside, celebrating the nightlife of Dublin, and taking home a hot Irish chick with an accent (just kidding).
4. Be serenaded on a Venetician gondola ride with my sweetheart in Italy after having the best gelatto of my life.
5. Exchange wedding vows at sunset on a rocky cliff in Greece with a spectacular view of the ocean.
6. Dance in front of the Louvre late at night on my honeymoon in Paris.
7. Put chunky highlights of some funky and unnatural color in my hair -- like blue!
8. Have my nosed pierced with a teensy-weensy sparkly pink stud in it.
9. Get a tattoo of "Carpe Diem" in Celtic lettering with a symbol of the Trinity on either side.
10. Conquer my fear of heights by skydiving over Seville, Spain, while on vacation there.
11. Purchase an old Victorian-style house, restore it to its former grandeur, and make it a home.
12. Have two children that are biologically mine and name them Gracie & Hayden.
13. Adopt a little girl from China and name her Isabelle.
14. Learn to play the acoustic guitar, piano, and saxophone -- and well, so I can perform in front of a live audience (even if it's in my living room).
15. Buy an eco-friendly car powered by electric or hydroelectric technology (presently this is the Honda Civic hybrid).
16. Attend and graduate from Saint Xavier University, majoring and minoring in History and English (I haven't decided which is which yet) along with a teaching license and certification to teach Debate.
17. Enlist in the AmeriCorps NCCC program ("Teach for America") and provide a good education to inner-city children... without having to take the Michelle Pfeiffer leather jacket approach.
18. Have a side career as a professional photographer with a focus on black and white photography.
19. Go back to law school at KU and become a Civil Rights attorney.
20. Become a master chef of French cuisine.
21. Spend six months in New York City bartending.
22. Have the most awesome new martini ever named after me & actually appear on a menu.
23. Have a Siberian Husky with a black and white coat and blue eyes as a pet.
24. Participate in a program that focuses on caring for and restoring chimps into the wild.
26. Become an experienced swing and ballroom dancer.
27. Spend an entire summer touring the most haunted places in the United States -- and see a ghost!
28. Manage to get and stay tan year-round safely by buying an insanely expensive professional spray-tanning machine.
29. Travel to India and meditate in an ashram to learn to appreciate silence and the power of prayer.
30. Go cruisin' in my black 1956 Jag Roadster with the top down.
31. Attend a weekly yoga class and eventually become an instructor.
32. Adhere to a strict diet, er, lifestyle change, and get down to a size 4, around 110 lbs.
33. Coach softball and basketball from the little league to middle school levels.
34. Publish a memoir detailing all of my life experiences for my children and grandchildren.
35. Appear on an episode of "Trading Spaces" with Hildi as our design coach so we can transform our neighbor's room into a very, uh, unique space.
36. Become a certified scuba diver in Bermuda without getting stung by a stingray or eaten alive by a shark.
37. Explore the Galapagos Islands and reflect upon Charles Darwin's own experiences there in an attempt to become scientifically and evolutionarily enlightened.
38. Gallop a horse in a race across a beach in Los Cabos, Mexico.
39. Buy a log cabin in rural Colorado to stay in on skiing trips.
40. Build an elaborate sand castle off the shores of Maine's coast.
41. Enroll in language classes with a goal of becoming fluent in Spanish, French, and Italian.
42. Jog along the Great Wall of China at sunrise.
43. Prove to myself that out-of-body experiences are real by having one.
44. Form an expedition to climb the Korakoram Range in Pakistan.
45. Enjoy a conversation over a cup of coffee with Tina Fey (I know, you thought I was going to say Barack Obama...).
46. Witness the Northern Lights on the Kanai Peninsula in Alaska.
47. Bungee jump by way of the "Bungee Bullet" off of the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia.
48. Obtain a private pilot certificate and fly to each of the 50 states.
49. Run for some sort of public office; governor would be nice (however improbable).
50. Bowl a perfect game by exclusive means of the "granny bowling" strategy.
-- Bertolt Brecht
Before I die, in no particular order I want to...
1. Get deployed to an African country through the Peace Corps and make an impact on the lives of the sick and poor.
2. Live in a chic modern-style apartment in downtown Chicago and enjoy all of the entertainment the city has to offer with my best friend Jennifer for six months.
3. See my ancestral history in Ireland; this includes exploring the scenic countryside, celebrating the nightlife of Dublin, and taking home a hot Irish chick with an accent (just kidding).
4. Be serenaded on a Venetician gondola ride with my sweetheart in Italy after having the best gelatto of my life.
5. Exchange wedding vows at sunset on a rocky cliff in Greece with a spectacular view of the ocean.
6. Dance in front of the Louvre late at night on my honeymoon in Paris.
7. Put chunky highlights of some funky and unnatural color in my hair -- like blue!
8. Have my nosed pierced with a teensy-weensy sparkly pink stud in it.
9. Get a tattoo of "Carpe Diem" in Celtic lettering with a symbol of the Trinity on either side.
10. Conquer my fear of heights by skydiving over Seville, Spain, while on vacation there.
11. Purchase an old Victorian-style house, restore it to its former grandeur, and make it a home.
12. Have two children that are biologically mine and name them Gracie & Hayden.
13. Adopt a little girl from China and name her Isabelle.
14. Learn to play the acoustic guitar, piano, and saxophone -- and well, so I can perform in front of a live audience (even if it's in my living room).
15. Buy an eco-friendly car powered by electric or hydroelectric technology (presently this is the Honda Civic hybrid).
16. Attend and graduate from Saint Xavier University, majoring and minoring in History and English (I haven't decided which is which yet) along with a teaching license and certification to teach Debate.
17. Enlist in the AmeriCorps NCCC program ("Teach for America") and provide a good education to inner-city children... without having to take the Michelle Pfeiffer leather jacket approach.
18. Have a side career as a professional photographer with a focus on black and white photography.
19. Go back to law school at KU and become a Civil Rights attorney.
20. Become a master chef of French cuisine.
21. Spend six months in New York City bartending.
22. Have the most awesome new martini ever named after me & actually appear on a menu.
23. Have a Siberian Husky with a black and white coat and blue eyes as a pet.
24. Participate in a program that focuses on caring for and restoring chimps into the wild.
26. Become an experienced swing and ballroom dancer.
27. Spend an entire summer touring the most haunted places in the United States -- and see a ghost!
28. Manage to get and stay tan year-round safely by buying an insanely expensive professional spray-tanning machine.
29. Travel to India and meditate in an ashram to learn to appreciate silence and the power of prayer.
30. Go cruisin' in my black 1956 Jag Roadster with the top down.
31. Attend a weekly yoga class and eventually become an instructor.
32. Adhere to a strict diet, er, lifestyle change, and get down to a size 4, around 110 lbs.
33. Coach softball and basketball from the little league to middle school levels.
34. Publish a memoir detailing all of my life experiences for my children and grandchildren.
35. Appear on an episode of "Trading Spaces" with Hildi as our design coach so we can transform our neighbor's room into a very, uh, unique space.
36. Become a certified scuba diver in Bermuda without getting stung by a stingray or eaten alive by a shark.
37. Explore the Galapagos Islands and reflect upon Charles Darwin's own experiences there in an attempt to become scientifically and evolutionarily enlightened.
38. Gallop a horse in a race across a beach in Los Cabos, Mexico.
39. Buy a log cabin in rural Colorado to stay in on skiing trips.
40. Build an elaborate sand castle off the shores of Maine's coast.
41. Enroll in language classes with a goal of becoming fluent in Spanish, French, and Italian.
42. Jog along the Great Wall of China at sunrise.
43. Prove to myself that out-of-body experiences are real by having one.
44. Form an expedition to climb the Korakoram Range in Pakistan.
45. Enjoy a conversation over a cup of coffee with Tina Fey (I know, you thought I was going to say Barack Obama...).
46. Witness the Northern Lights on the Kanai Peninsula in Alaska.
47. Bungee jump by way of the "Bungee Bullet" off of the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia.
48. Obtain a private pilot certificate and fly to each of the 50 states.
49. Run for some sort of public office; governor would be nice (however improbable).
50. Bowl a perfect game by exclusive means of the "granny bowling" strategy.
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