As you may have noticed, I have not published a blog post in nearly a month now. For most people this is not out of the ordinary in the least... then again, I am not exactly "most people." Thinking about why I have been unable to write these past few weeks has had a peculiar effect on my writing.
I have begun to pay too much attention to my form, to my ability not just to write my thoughts but to write them down well, and I've stopped just writing and am beginning to feel this self-induced pressure to produce polished pieces to my readers which, let's face it, are a select bunch. The day I felt overwhelmed by that pressure was the day I lost my freedom to just write. Knowing I have a limited emotional wellspring from which to draw has made me stingy with my words. While writing was my emancipation months ago, expecting myself to be good at it has slapped on a new type of fetter, one whose key I have not yet found... I can't even tell you how many times I've clicked the "new post" button only to discard it minutes later. It's like I've transformed from Emma Thompson's character in "Nanny McPhee" to the author she plays in "Stranger Than Fiction." Sweet Jesus.
This is where I blame my OCD tendencies coupled with an insistence on perfection (my all-purpose excuse) but I do feel that I have transferred them to my writing, where each word must be the perfect choice for the moment. Each word must be precise, not be repetitive, mundane, or, God forbid, average. If I'm not careful, I'll begin counting my words, sorting them into neat little piles of nouns, verbs and dangling participles and storing them in jars in my closet.
Beyond this increasingly disturbing resemblance to Melvin Udall (I relate to many characters in movies) I've also found that the harder I strive to make my thoughts clear, to try to explain my thought process to others that don't know me, the harder it has become for me to actually make a point. Because I am so afraid that I will face scrutiny and be found lacking, I am not able to write anything indisputable enough.
Are these just old insecurities rearing their ugly heads (my personal emotional Chimera) or have I, accustomed to being argued with and constantly frustrated by my own inadequacies, grown an entirely new, all-purpose one? Am I over-analyzing again, or is this a necessary thought process? Is it just the mechanical efficiency expert in me wishing I could parse my thought process down to a concrete algorithm, one that could be applied to anything I am trying to say? If only I could use it as a litmus test before even trying so that I don't feel like I have to try so damn hard explaining.
As usual, I end up with more questions than I began with, compliments of the complicated brain of Bridget Harman. All I really was trying to do was to explain myself and instead ended up creating a little job security for my inner shrink.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Gap
I've wanted to bitch about the Gap for a long time now. I just never thought that this company would get to me so much.
See, this whole 21st century thing - it’s about identity and individuality, right? Or at least on the surface. At first glance, we all try to be different by identifying ourselves with certain groups, music, and, yes, brands - not blend in. And companies try to stand out too, spending millions of dollars to craft unique images through their branding ad agencies. What the hell is Gap though? I have never seen a company without any definite identity, and sort of “me” in it. One month I can walk into the Gap and think that I’m at an Urban Outfitters store. The next month, I feel like I’m at H&M, yet the next time I pop into that store, I feel like Abercrombie & Fitch just moved in and the sign was not yet replaced.
Last time I visited the place I walked in and honestly, I thought I was at an Old Navy liquidation sale. Bland clothing lying all over the floor, with customers not giving two shits that they were standing on clothes that they had the intention of buying. It was the epitome of what Gap is all about (if that can be said about a company that lacks definition). I'm getting the feeling they just don’t seem to care about themselves. It’s not even really about customer care; they're pretty much on par with other stores. What it's about is caring for who they are, for their brand, for their employees. Why can’t they take a cue from their other sister companies Banana Republic and Old Navy? Those stores seem to know how things should be run. But Gap is like a boring mixture of Eddie Bauer, grits, and an empty canvas.
Why is it that when I buy something at the Gap and I like it, I can never know for sure that I can come back there in a few months and find that item again? It seems like the company’s management is on an acid-induced menopause and every time they get an uncontrollable hot flash, they change their stores. No wonder their CEO got canned. No wonder their profits are tanking. No wonder that budget designers don’t want to offer their stuff at the Gap and instead go to Target and H&M.
Hell, even their much touted Product (Red) line sucks. If you are going to overcharge for a t-shirt made in Lesotho, at least make sure that it’s stitched together by something more than a piece of pubic hair and gum. Make it look like something I would actually want to wear. The message is good, the idea is great (though it can’t be credited to the Gap - thanks Bono!), but the implementation is horrible. Or what about the Product (Red) bracelets? They cost $10. TEN DOLLARS. That would be called highway robbery, ladies and gentleman. Speaking of which, why is it that the Gap is charging $50 for a shirt that has been pre-worn, pre-crumbled and pre-destroyed for me when I can just go to Brooks Brothers or even an Armani outlet and get a better shirt for the same price?
Case in point: I wanted jeans, and was hoping that Gap miraculously got with the program and cared enough to finally make their store “shoppable.” Oh, how wrong I was. They had this jeans sale going on, where for $60 I could pick up a pair and then save something like 50% off of a shirt. I found some jeans that I liked and decided to look for a shirt, but after spending close to 30 minutes, I gave up, returned the jeans and left. Their designs were boring, their pricing model outrageous, and the cluttered shelves unpleasant to look at while struggling with the tremendous difficulty of trying to find something that I liked.
I am not a person who cares deeply about shopping. I usually just want to get in, find what I like, pay a fair price (or score a deal) and leave. I don’t take joy in window shopping. Gap, seemingly, could easily fit the bill but they don’t because they try to be something that they aren't and it just doesn't work. From Madonna to Audrey Hepburn to Common, I don’t even know who to identify the brand with and it just gets old and annoying. And I'm annoyed.
See, this whole 21st century thing - it’s about identity and individuality, right? Or at least on the surface. At first glance, we all try to be different by identifying ourselves with certain groups, music, and, yes, brands - not blend in. And companies try to stand out too, spending millions of dollars to craft unique images through their branding ad agencies. What the hell is Gap though? I have never seen a company without any definite identity, and sort of “me” in it. One month I can walk into the Gap and think that I’m at an Urban Outfitters store. The next month, I feel like I’m at H&M, yet the next time I pop into that store, I feel like Abercrombie & Fitch just moved in and the sign was not yet replaced.
Last time I visited the place I walked in and honestly, I thought I was at an Old Navy liquidation sale. Bland clothing lying all over the floor, with customers not giving two shits that they were standing on clothes that they had the intention of buying. It was the epitome of what Gap is all about (if that can be said about a company that lacks definition). I'm getting the feeling they just don’t seem to care about themselves. It’s not even really about customer care; they're pretty much on par with other stores. What it's about is caring for who they are, for their brand, for their employees. Why can’t they take a cue from their other sister companies Banana Republic and Old Navy? Those stores seem to know how things should be run. But Gap is like a boring mixture of Eddie Bauer, grits, and an empty canvas.
Why is it that when I buy something at the Gap and I like it, I can never know for sure that I can come back there in a few months and find that item again? It seems like the company’s management is on an acid-induced menopause and every time they get an uncontrollable hot flash, they change their stores. No wonder their CEO got canned. No wonder their profits are tanking. No wonder that budget designers don’t want to offer their stuff at the Gap and instead go to Target and H&M.
Hell, even their much touted Product (Red) line sucks. If you are going to overcharge for a t-shirt made in Lesotho, at least make sure that it’s stitched together by something more than a piece of pubic hair and gum. Make it look like something I would actually want to wear. The message is good, the idea is great (though it can’t be credited to the Gap - thanks Bono!), but the implementation is horrible. Or what about the Product (Red) bracelets? They cost $10. TEN DOLLARS. That would be called highway robbery, ladies and gentleman. Speaking of which, why is it that the Gap is charging $50 for a shirt that has been pre-worn, pre-crumbled and pre-destroyed for me when I can just go to Brooks Brothers or even an Armani outlet and get a better shirt for the same price?
Case in point: I wanted jeans, and was hoping that Gap miraculously got with the program and cared enough to finally make their store “shoppable.” Oh, how wrong I was. They had this jeans sale going on, where for $60 I could pick up a pair and then save something like 50% off of a shirt. I found some jeans that I liked and decided to look for a shirt, but after spending close to 30 minutes, I gave up, returned the jeans and left. Their designs were boring, their pricing model outrageous, and the cluttered shelves unpleasant to look at while struggling with the tremendous difficulty of trying to find something that I liked.
I am not a person who cares deeply about shopping. I usually just want to get in, find what I like, pay a fair price (or score a deal) and leave. I don’t take joy in window shopping. Gap, seemingly, could easily fit the bill but they don’t because they try to be something that they aren't and it just doesn't work. From Madonna to Audrey Hepburn to Common, I don’t even know who to identify the brand with and it just gets old and annoying. And I'm annoyed.
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