Every year at Christmas my family watches the same old traditional, beloved movies... you know the ones. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, The Little Drummer Boy, The Grinch (only the old one, at my mother's insistence). Well, this past year I got a little bored during Rudolph and decided to pick out a few of the outdated and odd traits the movie had.
When you think of Santa Claus and that charming movie "Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer" I'm betting the last things that come to mind are "stereotypical" and "Santa is a jerk". Well.... maybe they should be among the first things you think, because I just watched this movie with my family and was, quite frankly, appalled.
First of all, since when are Santa and "the Mrs." as she is referred to - since when are they Jewish? (They stereotype, I stereotype). Seriously, Mrs. Claus spends the entire movie encouraging Santa to "eat, eat!" Santa plays the shrewd business aspect of this particular stereotype, irritated at watching the elves' song because he has more important things to do.
In addition, the reindeer and elves are Communists, or something approaching that level of conforming weirdness. Rudolph's own father rejects him on the basis of his nose, and all of the reindeer band together and throw Rudolph out. The same happens to Hermie the elf/dentist. (There are theories floating around that Hermie may in fact be homosexual, but that's a different story entirely...) There is an entire island full of "misfits" - toys that no one wants - because they're different from the other cookie-cutter toys made by the elves. I'm not sure what sort of Stepfordian world the creators of this movie were living in, but I'm going to say it's bleak and terrifying.
Oh and let's not forget the blatant sexist remarks running rampant throughout the story. Get a load of these gems: Rudolph's mother wants to search for Rudolph along with her husband only to be told "No. This is man's work!"
And, once Yukon Cornelius, Hermie and Rudolph have rescued the latter's mother, father and love interest (Clarice), they realize that the best thing to do would be to get the women to shelter.
Indeed. And the whole Santa being a jerk thing? Totally true. Santa's first observation of Rudolph: A fine, sturdy little buck.
Santa's observation of Rudolph after he sees Rudolph's nose is that Rudolph's father should be ashamed of himself for creating this horrid abomination. I mean jesus christ suggestions of murder are brought up! Well ok, not really, but Santa makes it plain that Rudolph won't be pulling sleighs anytime soon. After Rudolph's nose is exposed to all (a "coming out" if you will), Santa reiterates that Rudolph sucks, even though he had the skill to pull the sleigh, and Rudolph's father should jump off a cliff. There might be some slight exaggeration there as well, but try telling that to a heartbroken Rudolph after that scene.
On Christmas Eve, Santa is still bashing the nose, even after the narrator proclaims that all is well with the world. Santa, with the brilliant light of the nose in his eyes, asks Rudolph to tone the thing down in a tone undeniably hostile. Then, the light (metaphorically speaking) comes on: Santa realizes that with this nose, he can see through the storm and deliver all the toys. Suddenly the nose is wonderful, magnificent, praise-worthy and Rudolph will lead the sleigh.
Well, stop me if I'm wrong here, Mr. Claus... did you not say that Rudolph's nose was a source of shame? Come on now, Mr. Conformity-encourager: this nose is an abomination. What's this, Mr. Communist: this nose offers you supply for your demand, and you suddenly want it? Mr. Capitalism, ladies and gentlemen: I present him to you (as well as the reason Communism fails - as Zappa said, people like to own things).
Indeed, once Rudolph's nose becomes a valuable asset, he is a hero: he goes down in history.
I am disgusted by this, let me tell you. Santa, Commie elves and reindeer, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for the performance set forth by you is of a vile, base and crude nature. I shudder on your behalf.
Merry Christmas.
